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Thursday, May 26, 2011

It's Time to Grow Up! Part 2: Your Momma Ain't Here No More

This won't be as long as yesterdays. But let's recap the first part:

In Part 1 of It's Time to Grow Up! I talked about those that live at home with their parents and how they should act if they are going to be doing so. I discussed how many like to take advantage of their parents and the fact that I find it disgusting. If you are interested and can't find it, here it is.

Although more and more children are living with their parents, there are more and more children living on their own, but their parents still take care of them. Let me explain, using a college student scenario:

I am talking about those that have their own apartment, their own car, go to college, have other expenses (pets, bills, go shopping at expensive places, etc.) and they don't have a job. If they are in college they don't feel like living in a dorm and as a result the parents will have to pay more money out of their pocket just so that way their kids has a place to live (apartments are more expensive. The reason is because you have to pay your own wi-fi, electricity, water, gas, etc. Dorms in the long run are less expensive and you can get loans to help you with that more likely than you would be able to for an apartment. Now before you say I have roommates from hell, I have issues. Guess what, get over it. No matter what you do you will come across the roommate from hell. However, it will not always be like that. Now if you throw other expenses: food, bills, car, and if you get a pet (depending upon the kind you get that will be an added $300-1,000 per year, sometimes more) all of that adds up.

Now if you did all of this and had a job, I commend you and in my eyes you are awesome. But if you have all of this, you don't have a job and your parents are paying for it....yeah I have trouble seeing you as an adult. I would have trouble seeing you as responsible and I would not take you seriously.

If you are going to be living on your own you should:

1. Have a job. No if, ands, or butts.

2. Be able to take care of yourself, it's understandable to ask your parents to give you advice and help you occasionally. They shouldn't be there at your every beck and call. If you are old enough to have your own place, you should be old enough to take care of yourself. Also if you are thinking about getting a pet, you should be able to ask yourself how many hours do you spend taking care of yourself. Then multiply that by 2 (0r 3 again depending on the pet) and if you can;t handle taking care of the pet for that many hours, don't get one. That way you won't be tempted to throw it onto your parents when you are unable to deal with it or pay the bills left over from the vet visit.

3. Just because your parents love you and can help you doesn't mean you can take advantage of it. Yes they may want to do whatever you want, but do you want to make them go broke? Especially in this economy.

4. If you can't afford to get it, don't go to your parents every single time you want something expensive. I don't care if it's a new camera, the latest coach purse(and I love coach), the newest game system, etc. However you can let them know you like it so it could be a future birthday or Christmas (Kwanzaa, Chanukah, etc. ) present. By the way not every day is your birthday and your un birthday and half birthday is not a reason to get a present either.

5. Don't get a condo or loft if you can't afford it without help. Ask yourself, do you really need all that space. Do you, if your place looks half empty and it's pretty big, you might want to think of downsizing. If there are more than 3 bedrooms in the place and you are not sharing it, you don't need it. Unless you can afford it by yourself, than go ahead and have fun with it.

Of course as always there are exceptions, those that just lost there job and are looking for one, (you can always downsize your place and/or sell your stuff) your health may be bad (it may be better for you to move in with your parents) or a number of crazy things have happened that have prevented you from doing the above.

I said this yesterday and I will say it now. I know times are hard for a lot of people, I know the economy is going down the drain every day. My boyfriend, my wonderful amazing boyfriend with a college degree, who has worked since he was 16 has no job. Yes, he teaches guitar to a couple of students and gets some money from that, but he has to rely on unemployment to pay for everything and his own will to find a job for himself. It is not easy, but he does and he doesn't even live with his parents he is still able to pay for rent and some food.

So I do understand, life is hard and it can suck. But guess what all you got to do is keep moving, at the end of the day there is only one person that is stopping you from being a true adult and that is you.

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