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Monday, May 31, 2010

Sybil: A Story that Can't be Made Up

Title: Sybil: The Classic True Story of a Woman
Author: Flora Rheta Schreiber
Mass Market Paperback: 512 Pages
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Genre: Biography, Memoir/Health (It's sometimes in this section)
Rating: 5 out of 5 stars

I started this book around March and I finally got to finish this book last week. It is a really great book to read, if anyone is interested in psychology, multiple personlity disorders, or just want to read an amzing book this is it. I do recomened beforehand though that you do not read this book if you are depressed and feeling down at the time; for throughout most of this book, it is not a happy story, its really painful, but helps you to appreciate life more and it's really insightful.

Sybil: The Classic True Story of a Woman Possessed by Sixteen Personalities written by her friend Flora Rheta Schreiber, it is a true story about a woman who throughout her child had an abusive mother, an apathetic father, lived in a town filled with purists christians; with their end of the world lectures being an every day norm, and also as a result of her disorder, she didn't have mamny friends and when she did she's told by her family to not be with them. I would tell you more about the book and an account of it, but I don't think I could do the book justice and I hope that it would encourage you all to read this awesome book.

All of these traumas that she experiences that go through and plus with the fact that her family has a history of mental disorder, she developed 16 different personalities that were all trying to live independtly of the waking self.

There has been a great deal of talk about whether or not this story could be true. If this story is not true, someone has a hell of an imagination and if it is a true story, then the person that went through it all is truly strong, amazing and a remarkable person. I give Sybill props to being able to do what she did.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Getting Motivated

So I haven't really felt that motivated lately. I think a part of it is because of the fact that I simply have just been feeling frustrated. I'm sure there are many people out there that can relate to the facct that when you are around a lot of people that seem to be able to get what they want without working that hard, that it is very frustrating to others like me, who work very hard and we are lucky to get where we are.

It's so hard to be motivated when it seems no matter what you do you just never seem to get there. I feel like I can never seem to get what I desire, even if I go after it. For me I think it has gotten to the point at times where I honestly feel "what's the point"??

It also takes a lot for me to get motivated anymore because I have this mentallity, this way of thinking. I know that the only way for me to be able to feel more motivated is that I have to change how I think. But the other thing is that I have to be able to accomplish something at least once, before I can truly believe that my hard work will pay off. So far to me, I have been shown that the only way to get ahead in life is to

  • Have Money
  • Have Connections
  • Sleep Around
  • Be the Same Like Everyone Else
  • Be a Bitch or Basterd


  • Be Selfish

So yeah you can say I am not motivated because of all of this. I am working on it, like a great deal of many other things.

There are 3 goals this summer that I want to accomplish:

  1. Get a job at the Oak Ridge Library

  2. Register for a Math Class at Pelissippi State

  3. Loose Weight

The things I have to do for each of these things really isn't that much.

For the 1st one I have to fill the appilcation form, finish the resume and hand it back in, by tomorrow. They are having I need to turn in the form fast.

I also have to register for a class at Pelissippi, but I have to first get a transcript from UTC, then I have to go in sign up for the class. Then I have to send to information back to UTC so I can get the Veterna's Affairs office there, so that way they can send a letter approving me to take a class there and so that way I can get the finacial aid that I need.

With the last goal, I have to loose weight. My only problem is that I love junk food, I'm not a big fan of working out and I never had to habit of watching what I eat or working out, because I never had to. I was always skinny, and had a high metabolism, I still have a high metabolism compared to others but I'm not where I was a year ago. I think there have been other factors of course, I was badically sick for 4-5 moths this year all together, my appetitie has been extremly up and down, I have been so stresed out with everything, and I felt like everything was out of control. So my goal is to not only loose weight, but get my metabolism back to where it was and perhaps even make it better.

Either way I need to get more motivated and I need to accomplish something, with doing all the hard work that I have done.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Friendship....Is it Real? A Dream?

"Don't Walk in Front of Me, I May Not Follow. Don't Walk Behind Me, I May Not Lead. Walk Beside Me and Be My Friend."

Friendship: the state of being friends

I don't know about the rest of the world, but I have always had wondered about friendships. Despite the fact that I do have some friends, I have a hard time believing whois my real friend and who is there out of convience. After all there are so many kinds of friends that existed:

  • Those friends that you know through other friends

  • Friends that you have in a club you are part of, but don't really spend time withoutside of the club

  • Friends that you had since childhood
  • Friends from high school

  • Friends from college

  • Friends from where you work

  • Family friends

  • Friendly Aquaintences

  • Buisness friends

  • On the surface friends

  • Those people that you are once friends with, but through time you just lose touch

and last but not least

  • The friend that's always there

  • Me as my own friend

It's strange how there are different kind of friendships and friends. In my experience I have always found it hard to be able to differentiate. It has taken me many years to figure out true friends, to be honest I still have some trouble. Frankly, it has been hard for me to figure out whether or not I have friends.

For I have always been paranoid when it comes to opening myself up to other people, I won't go into details, but lets just say I was one of those kids that was severly mistreated and frequently betrayed by those who I thought were my friends. Well I did learn from my mistakes, but unfortunatly I kept running into the types of people who I thought were my friends, but really weren't. Heck I can write a book about the many types of people that you think are your friends, but really aren't.

So you can say that for many years and sometimes to this day, I have a little bit given up on the idea of friendship. You can say I'm not that kind of person that trusts people off the bat anymore. I am getting better though. It took till college for me to really believe this, the idea of friendship. The person that introduced me to this concept was my boyfriend. He really was able to show me that I can have friends and he was able to prove it. He was able to show that some of my sorority sisters are in fact really my friends. He was able to show that I can trust.

It still will be hard, I have been through a great deal. It has left many scars that you can say are still visible. Only through time will be I be able to accpet the idea tha friendship can become a reality, that it is more then a dream.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

A Movie Review: Iron Man 2

I love comic books, and I have been loving a majority of the movies that Hollywood has released that is based off of them, Spiderman 1& 2, X-Men 1& 2, etc. Although I have so far never liked the 3rd movies of super hero movies, they just suck. But anyway moving on...

I saw Iron Man 2 as a part of a late Birthday celebration with my mom and dad. I have a few words to say about the movie....

It was Awesome!!!!

I'm serious I was so concerned that this movie was going to be cheesy and suck and all of that, but no I was actually surprised and it turned out to be just as great, as the first one. I was confused a little bit during the movie but that's just because I was distracted by the persons feet that was on my seat, I kept pushing back on the seat. The guy eventually got the hint.

But all I can say is that this movie is awesome go see and stay until the end of the credits. There is an awesome clip there, you need to see it. So as soon as you finish reading this, go watch it!

Friday, May 14, 2010

What Makes a Great Leader?

Leader: a person that guides or directs.

What makes a leader, a leader? I mean what are the exact qualities? My favorite leaders in history are St. Joan of Arc, Queen Elizabeth I, and George Washington. The reasno why I like these 3 so much, well... it would take forever to talk about each person listed here. I would rather dedicate a blog posting for each of them. So for now because I'm tired and don't feel like writing a lot I will briefly talk about each leader.

  • St. Joan of Arc- She was about 14 years old when she was approached by God to go the kingdom and convince the King that she was going to lead an army of men, without any education, experience, or status. She goes there and is able to convince the King to let her lead the army. At first she didn't have the men's respect but she soon did and lead them to many victories. She was burned at the stake, but because the King feeling guilty and inspired continued the war, leading his country to victory against the British and he did it in honor of Joan.

  • Queen Elizabeth I- She had gone through a great deal of ups and downs in her lifetime. She took a country that was a great deal in debt and switched it all around. She was hated by many, had many obstacles to overcome, and did it all with very little support. That's admirable.

  • George Washington- Yes this sounds so typical but for a long time until just recently I honestly thought he was overated( and I am a huge American Revolutionary buff you could say, so for me to not know some things about this man surprised me). I mean he made so many mistakes, heck he basically started the French and Indian Revolution, he did end it to. He also lead an messed up army, with a nation that ws just starting and he learned from all of his mistakes.

There are other factors of course that make them awesome, but that would take up a whole blog past.

I really do want to figure out what it takes to be a great leader, not because I would like to be one, but I think people should learn. Yes there is a part of me that honestly believes that I will be a leader of some kind someday. I don't know how or when, but whenever that happens I want to be ready. I'm not saying that I'm going to be famous or will lead an army. I know that is not my path. What I'm saying is that if I am going to be a leader someday, I want to be ready.

So for know I honeslty have no idea what the qualities are, cause yes there are the obvious answers: honesty, dedication, dependence, etc. The thing is though, many people can have those qualities and aren't leaders or can't be for some reason.

So my question is, "What Makes a Great Leader?"

Thursday, May 13, 2010

My Thoughts On Destiny

Destiny: (1) something to which a person or thing is destined, (2) a predetermined course of events often held to be an irrestible power or agent.
I got to thinking about this today, after all I do wonder at times what is my destiny. Yes, I know that there are many arguments out there that talk about whether or not destiny exists well, I think it does, only I think of destiny in a slightly different way, compared to the Online Webster's definition.

I believe that we are all destined for something great, but we can also be destined for something terrible, it just all depends on the decisions we make. There are many decisions that we each make every day and it's those decisions that determine who we become. Me I have taken life for granted for a very long time, I'm not going to lie, I have had somewhat of an ego and thought that since I was destined for great things ( I won't really exaplin why, there was a life changing experience and yeah its personal) but I honestly though that because of this I didn't have to do much, that my destiny would fall into my lap. Sounds crazy, but for a while I did think this way, subconsciously. For if I thought about this consciously I would thought myself like the other egotistical people out there. Well I am starting to realize that I am similar to some of those people too.

So in my opinion destiny is not one fixed path or one fixed ending point. No it is what you can make it. I have no clue what my destiny is but I know when the time comes I will be ready for it.

For all those that wonder and care in the image above it says of course "Destiny" but it also says underneath "The Choices we Make, Not the Chances we Take, Determine our Destiny." Nothing is by chance, only right, only destiny.

Why I'm Starting This....

(Originally Posted May 12, 2010)

This summer I have decided that I'm going to better and improve myself and that I know it will be continous. The reason for this is well my grades in college right now suck, I know I can do so much better. I'm still trying to figure out who I am, what I am capable and not capable of, and where I am going in my life. This past year in my college career I realized basically, "Holy Crap, I need to change my life and fast." Also I feel like I haven't accomplished a lot, and done alot. Well that's going to change. Throughout this summer I will go through a Renaissance. I will commit to this and I will go through this for the entire summer and if I can do that I may continue on into the my next semester back at UTC.

The goals that I want to accomplish and improve is:
  1. Not Procrasinate
  2. Improve Diet Habits
  3. Exercise
  4. Write More
  5. Read More Books
  6. Improve my Self Esteem
  7. Improve Memory
  8. Become more well rounded
  9. Be in contact with my Family and Friends more
  10. become closer to God
With this blog I will also just be basically doing what I want everything; from reviews of movies and books, to my opinion on news thats going on in the world, and just musings and thoughts and sometimes rants. This blog will be a little bit of everything.

Oh Damn

So looking at one of my attempts to blog, I just noticed that my last blogs URL name was so screwd up that well, it had a sexually degrading word that ended up there by accident...
it basically was cvwrtiter-myrenaissance.... and so forth... so I have to transfer all my blog posts to this one and delete the other one... oh well. I learned my lesson for the day. Check over stuff before you post it.
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