Friendship: the state of being friends
I don't know about the rest of the world, but I have always had wondered about friendships. Despite the fact that I do have some friends, I have a hard time believing whois my real friend and who is there out of convience. After all there are so many kinds of friends that existed:
- Those friends that you know through other friends
- Friends that you have in a club you are part of, but don't really spend time withoutside of the club
- Friends that you had since childhood
- Friends from high school
- Friends from college
- Friends from where you work
- Family friends
- Friendly Aquaintences
- Buisness friends
- On the surface friends
- Those people that you are once friends with, but through time you just lose touch
and last but not least
- The friend that's always there
- Me as my own friend
It's strange how there are different kind of friendships and friends. In my experience I have always found it hard to be able to differentiate. It has taken me many years to figure out true friends, to be honest I still have some trouble. Frankly, it has been hard for me to figure out whether or not I have friends.
For I have always been paranoid when it comes to opening myself up to other people, I won't go into details, but lets just say I was one of those kids that was severly mistreated and frequently betrayed by those who I thought were my friends. Well I did learn from my mistakes, but unfortunatly I kept running into the types of people who I thought were my friends, but really weren't. Heck I can write a book about the many types of people that you think are your friends, but really aren't.
So you can say that for many years and sometimes to this day, I have a little bit given up on the idea of friendship. You can say I'm not that kind of person that trusts people off the bat anymore. I am getting better though. It took till college for me to really believe this, the idea of friendship. The person that introduced me to this concept was my boyfriend. He really was able to show me that I can have friends and he was able to prove it. He was able to show that some of my sorority sisters are in fact really my friends. He was able to show that I can trust.
It still will be hard, I have been through a great deal. It has left many scars that you can say are still visible. Only through time will be I be able to accpet the idea tha friendship can become a reality, that it is more then a dream.