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Thursday, May 20, 2010

Getting Motivated

So I haven't really felt that motivated lately. I think a part of it is because of the fact that I simply have just been feeling frustrated. I'm sure there are many people out there that can relate to the facct that when you are around a lot of people that seem to be able to get what they want without working that hard, that it is very frustrating to others like me, who work very hard and we are lucky to get where we are.

It's so hard to be motivated when it seems no matter what you do you just never seem to get there. I feel like I can never seem to get what I desire, even if I go after it. For me I think it has gotten to the point at times where I honestly feel "what's the point"??

It also takes a lot for me to get motivated anymore because I have this mentallity, this way of thinking. I know that the only way for me to be able to feel more motivated is that I have to change how I think. But the other thing is that I have to be able to accomplish something at least once, before I can truly believe that my hard work will pay off. So far to me, I have been shown that the only way to get ahead in life is to


  • Have Money
  • Have Connections
  • Sleep Around
  • Be the Same Like Everyone Else
  • Be a Bitch or Basterd

And!

  • Be Selfish

So yeah you can say I am not motivated because of all of this. I am working on it, like a great deal of many other things.

There are 3 goals this summer that I want to accomplish:

  1. Get a job at the Oak Ridge Library

  2. Register for a Math Class at Pelissippi State

  3. Loose Weight

The things I have to do for each of these things really isn't that much.

For the 1st one I have to fill the appilcation form, finish the resume and hand it back in, by tomorrow. They are having turnovers...so I need to turn in the form fast.


I also have to register for a class at Pelissippi, but I have to first get a transcript from UTC, then I have to go in sign up for the class. Then I have to send to information back to UTC so I can get the Veterna's Affairs office there, so that way they can send a letter approving me to take a class there and so that way I can get the finacial aid that I need.

With the last goal, I have to loose weight. My only problem is that I love junk food, I'm not a big fan of working out and I never had to habit of watching what I eat or working out, because I never had to. I was always skinny, and had a high metabolism, I still have a high metabolism compared to others but I'm not where I was a year ago. I think there have been other factors of course, I was badically sick for 4-5 moths this year all together, my appetitie has been extremly up and down, I have been so stresed out with everything, and I felt like everything was out of control. So my goal is to not only loose weight, but get my metabolism back to where it was and perhaps even make it better.

Either way I need to get more motivated and I need to accomplish something, with doing all the hard work that I have done.

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