It's Time to Grow Up! Part 2: Your Momma Ain't Here No More

This won't be as long as yesterdays. But let's recap the first part:

In Part 1 of It's Time to Grow Up! I talked about those that live at home with their parents and how they should act if they are going to be doing so. I discussed how many like to take advantage of their parents and the fact that I find it disgusting. If you are interested and can't find it, here it is.

Although more and more children are living with their parents, there are more and more children living on their own, but their parents still take care of them. Let me explain, using a college student scenario:

I am talking about those that have their own apartment, their own car, go to college, have other expenses (pets, bills, go shopping at expensive places, etc.) and they don't have a job. If they are in college they don't feel like living in a dorm and as a result the parents will have to pay more money out of their pocket just so that way their kids has a place to live (apartments are more expensive. The reason is because you have to pay your own wi-fi, electricity, water, gas, etc. Dorms in the long run are less expensive and you can get loans to help you with that more likely than you would be able to for an apartment. Now before you say I have roommates from hell, I have issues. Guess what, get over it. No matter what you do you will come across the roommate from hell. However, it will not always be like that. Now if you throw other expenses: food, bills, car, and if you get a pet (depending upon the kind you get that will be an added $300-1,000 per year, sometimes more) all of that adds up.

Now if you did all of this and had a job, I commend you and in my eyes you are awesome. But if you have all of this, you don't have a job and your parents are paying for it....yeah I have trouble seeing you as an adult. I would have trouble seeing you as responsible and I would not take you seriously.

If you are going to be living on your own you should:

1. Have a job. No if, ands, or butts.

2. Be able to take care of yourself, it's understandable to ask your parents to give you advice and help you occasionally. They shouldn't be there at your every beck and call. If you are old enough to have your own place, you should be old enough to take care of yourself. Also if you are thinking about getting a pet, you should be able to ask yourself how many hours do you spend taking care of yourself. Then multiply that by 2 (0r 3 again depending on the pet) and if you can;t handle taking care of the pet for that many hours, don't get one. That way you won't be tempted to throw it onto your parents when you are unable to deal with it or pay the bills left over from the vet visit.

3. Just because your parents love you and can help you doesn't mean you can take advantage of it. Yes they may want to do whatever you want, but do you want to make them go broke? Especially in this economy.

4. If you can't afford to get it, don't go to your parents every single time you want something expensive. I don't care if it's a new camera, the latest coach purse(and I love coach), the newest game system, etc. However you can let them know you like it so it could be a future birthday or Christmas (Kwanzaa, Chanukah, etc. ) present. By the way not every day is your birthday and your un birthday and half birthday is not a reason to get a present either.

5. Don't get a condo or loft if you can't afford it without help. Ask yourself, do you really need all that space. Do you, if your place looks half empty and it's pretty big, you might want to think of downsizing. If there are more than 3 bedrooms in the place and you are not sharing it, you don't need it. Unless you can afford it by yourself, than go ahead and have fun with it.

Of course as always there are exceptions, those that just lost there job and are looking for one, (you can always downsize your place and/or sell your stuff) your health may be bad (it may be better for you to move in with your parents) or a number of crazy things have happened that have prevented you from doing the above.

I said this yesterday and I will say it now. I know times are hard for a lot of people, I know the economy is going down the drain every day. My boyfriend, my wonderful amazing boyfriend with a college degree, who has worked since he was 16 has no job. Yes, he teaches guitar to a couple of students and gets some money from that, but he has to rely on unemployment to pay for everything and his own will to find a job for himself. It is not easy, but he does and he doesn't even live with his parents he is still able to pay for rent and some food.

So I do understand, life is hard and it can suck. But guess what all you got to do is keep moving, at the end of the day there is only one person that is stopping you from being a true adult and that is you.

It's Time to Grow Up! Part 1: Living At Home

For those that don't watch reality TV, like me, the guy in the picture is Frank the Entertainer. He was originally on the reality show I Love New York (like the bachelorette, but only tacky). He was an interesting character, one of the defining moments that got him kicked off was the fact that he was in his late 20's and he was still living with his parents. Then after that he got his own show, Frank the Entertainer: A Basement Affair, and it became the sad guy that lives with his mom version of The Bachelor (For any of his fans, he now has a girlfriend and not only that I don't think he lives with his parents anymore, at least that was the first impression I got when I came across his myspace). The point he helped give a good representation of the adult that did not want to grow up and face responsibilities.

There have been more and more articles out there about adult children mostly between the ages of 20- late 30's that live with their parents.I think that is ridiculous. However before you all of you become jumpy and starts justifying certain situations I will tell you the circumstances I am refering to.

I have a lot of friends, some friends I am proud of, others they make me wonder if they have any brains cells left over from partying (I do love them, I just worry about there choices). One of these friends (lets call her Tammy), Tammy has graduated from high school (good job), didn't apply for college (okay college isn't for everyone and some people aren't always ready for the challenge), looked for a job (good), got a job(YAH!), and then lost the same job less then a month later (wHaT?!). Apparently what happened was is that she expected her family to wake her up for her job, even though both of her parents work.... As a result of her never waking up for her job that day she was fired. Why you may ask, well she never woke up until 3 hours after her shift began and never called into work explaining what happened, she just stayed home. Have I mentioned she got really upset at her parents and other family members for not waking her. Doesn't she know that every cell phone has an alarm on it, she could have at least used that. If you try to tell her that though, you are being mean. Oh this girl also doesn't have to pay rent,she doesn't have to do any chores and doesn't help the parents out.

This disgusts me.

I could throw out more scenarios, but frankly I might become aggravated writing about it.

If you are going to be living with you parents you should be:

1. Not taking advantage of them: help around the house, do chores, run errands. Don't ask them to buy you your every single want and desire (your not 5 anymore and no you are too old to be a "princess" or "prince"). Get off your butt and help them.

2. At least have a job and paying rent or going to college. I myself am going to college and looking for a job right now (fingers crossed). My parents don't expect me to pay rent since I am going to college and I am working toward my future. I help with other ways, how, I do the above, because I believe (as do my parents) that college is a full time job and it takes a lot of work so that is your first job . If you were laid off, fired and are now unemployed, get unemployment, that can be a way to pay rent (I'm pretty sure in some states there might be rules about having unemployment and living with your parents, you will have to check that though.) So if that's the case don't sit on your butt and moan and groan about how terrible life is find a job.

3. Don't ask for any help with big expenses. The only exceptions are if your health goes to pot, your car (either used for college or looking for a job) fails or your computer crashes (also used for a job searching or college). Everything else is frivolous, you don't need that new TV, that car may look nice but forget it, that dress would look great with your shoes but its $300 and it will be out of style next summer and yes that dog is cute, but you don't want to deal with veterinarian costs do you (well guess what neither do your parents).

4. Show respect. They are your parents, they do not have to let you be there since you are now a full grown adult. Their house, their rules and you have to play by them. If you don't like it, move out.

Now there are of course as always exceptions, there are people that are unable to work cause of health issues and are disabled in one way or another. There are those that have lost homes, are in the process of divorce, etc.

Well this message is to those that sit home all day play online games, watch stupid TV, buy junk and other unnecessary items with their parents money, eat all the food, and make the house a wreck , etc (They don't have to be doing this all at once, they could only be doing a few of these things).

Get a job, make something of yourself, take pride in yourself , and make something of yourself. Stop being a slacker, stop relying on others. Don't you realize you look like a loser.

Now I will say it again, I know times are hard for a lot of people I know the economy is going down the drain every day. My boyfriend, my wonderful amazing boyfriend with a college degree, who has worked since he was 16 has no job. Yes, he teaches guitar to a couple of students and gets some money from that, but he has to rely on unemployment to pay for everything and his own will to find a job for himself. It is not easy, but he does and he doesn't even live with his parents he is still able to pay for rent and some food.

So I do understand, life is hard and it can suck. But guess what all you got to do is keep moving, at the end of the day there is only one person that is stopping you from being a true adult and that is you.