My How Things Change

It's weird what can happen to a person over a year. Heck over a few months. 

All my life I have been a very passionate person. At times I felt like I had all of this passion inside of me waiting to be used and I had no idea how to direct it.

At times it has gotten me into trouble, other times I got into huge arguments.

I was/am passionate about a lot of things: my country, the military, my family, my faith, my friends, etc.  I love learning, reading, writing, the arts, music, politics, etc. What I believe in, what I love is what I am passionate about.

I realize though you can't live 24/7 with this passion going on. This may sound strange to some of you, but imagine if you are the Energizer Bunny with a Solar Battery that is constantly being charged and going on and on and on...

You get the idea.

You can't live life like it is a constant battle. Like you are taking on the next challenge. Many will probably disagree with me and that's fine with me. I understand, I used to be that passionate. But eventually you have to realize that if you keep going down that route, you will burn out.

I realized it these past few months. I am full of life and love to live life, but I know people who always seem to be "on."  It seems they never take time to relax or sit back and enjoy life.  No, to them life is a constant battle and one must always live with Passion 24/7, night and day, awake or asleep. That's exhausting.

Why?

What is wrong with taking time with life? What is wrong with having free time? These people seem to need to feel every waking minute of there day learning something, doing something, etc.  Don't they want to have time to relax, to be at peace, to think about the fun stuff of life, etc...

Why must it be this constant battle where everything must always get fixed, where we must always focus on an injustice or something that is terrible and evil and wrong? Why do we constantly have to fill every moment of our lives to the point where we are exhausted?

Is it bad to look at the fun little silly things that are going on in life? Why is it considered "degrading oneself" to  love fashion or sport for example? Why must we be wary of those that are different in thought than us?

I finally got an answer after 2 months.

They don't want to face themselves.  It sounds crazy, but it's true.  When we fill up our lives with constant activity, we don't take time for ourselves and we don't take time to examine ourselves. We need that time for ourselves to not only take care of our physical health, but our mental health especially. Sometimes people use all that activity and all that passion for fixing/changing problems they see in the world as a way to distract themselves from their own problems, their own issues. Hate to break it to you, that won't help you with yourself at the end of the day.

This semester although I have had a filled schedule, I forced myself to take some time for myself because of my health. I think it helped a lot too. I learned a lot about myself too and not only did I face the baggage I had, I faced my nasty, not so good side.

I'm not perfect. : /

After facing the the rest of the baggae (there was a little left) and coming to terms that at times I can be nasty and judgemental. It's hard facing tha truth.

Through discovering this, I dscovered some friends of mine were staying active, leanring, working, and fixing everything else but themselves. Some of them seem to live with this chip on their shoulder and they can't let it go because they don't know how to.

I know it's not easy, but it is very liberating and it helps a lot. Because of this discovery I feel a lot morrelaxed and at ease. It's a shame that those that I know are still trapped in the world were they have to escape from their problems.

Having passion is wonderful, more people need to have passion in their life. But to have it 24/7, although it sounds wonderful it is also time consuming and becomes very exhausting. Being able to relax and enjoy oneself is also a wonderful thing. 

A Book Review: How to be Lovely-The Audrey Hepburn Way of LIfe.

I love Audrey Hepburn; her style, her grace, and she is so classy. I was so excited when I got this for Christmas.

Title: How to be Lovely: The Audrey Hepburn Way of Life

Author: Melissa Hellstern

Number of Pages: 208

Publisher: Dutton Adult

Genre: Biography(esque)

Rating:

This is just a simple great little book. It is not a long read, it is quite enjoyable. It is basically filled with little quotes that have to do with each topics that are discussed in each chapter. You could say it is filled with Audrey's words of Wisdom on life.

No, this is not a long book. It is one of those great coffee table books or you could use it as a a daily thing to look over for fun.

Back from Florida

Last night, around 3 in the morning to be exact we got back from Florida. We left really late from Florida. The reason I was still in Downtown Disney trying to trade the last of the pins that I did not want.

It was fun though I had a lot of fun. Here is the schedule of the trip and boy we did a lot. It was rough though, thanks to the fact that all of us are not in the best shape. I have tendonitis in both of my knees, more so in my on knee than the other. Then we are dealing with my brother who has autism, and my other family members are not in the best of health either.

Nevertheless it was fun though. I had a great time.

I will be talking about it over the next weeks all the while I will be relaxing and enjoying my break from classes.

Here is the order of vacation:

Friday- left school, packed bags and left house. Arrived in Florida late around 9:00pm at Hotel.

Saturday- Islands of Adventures: Wizarding World of Harry Potter

Sunday- Disney Hollywood Studies

Monday- Islands of Adventure

Tuesday- Disney Magic Kingdom

Wednesaday- packed, left hotel, Downtown Disney, went back to Tennessee

I had an amazing time. It was great. I will talk all about the trip within the next week or so. It will take me time because I still have a great amount of things to do.

Busy with Exams & Christmas

Yah, No more classes for the semester. Right now I all I have to do is get ready for the 4 exams I have, 3 are on Monday and 1 is on Wednesday. I am so excited!!! To be done that is, not take exams, and of course Christmas. I'm not so much excited for the getting present part this year, although that will be fun. I am really excited cause I just am, it will be nice to not do anything for classes. I have so much to do though!!!

Here is my list of things I have to do:

• Study for exams
• Get stuff together for the vacation
• Work on the Christmas Story present for my boyfriend
• Get all of my friends addresses to send them Christmas Cards
• Call my friends
• Merry Christmas/ Thank you notes for my Professors
• Practice the Flute for my family on Christmas
• Get my brother a gift
• Get a birthday gift for one of my friends son

There is so much I have to do!!! Not to mention I have to clean my room today cause one of my friends is back from Illinois! I can't wait to see her.

In other news I got a 98 on one of my French tests!!! Go me!!! Other than that I have just been working hard and trying to get everything done.

Pretty soon I will be starting up some book reviews. I have finished books I just haven't had the chance to write reviews on them. They are really good too, I can't wait!

Well off to work I go, I should really get stuff done, I have many things I need to do before she comes over.

Happy Thanksgiving!!

Wow, it is already thanksgiving. Not too long ago it was Halloween. As I get older, the years seem to go by faster, a part of me wants it all to slow down just so that I can ebjoy.

But at the same time I am very glad, because soon I will be done with my 1st full semester at Pellissippi State. Go me! It has been quite the challenge, but I am very glad that I went on and pushed through it.

Now this Thanksgiving I decided to do something I have never done before, really give thanks to all those in my life and why I am thankful.

Here it goes:

To...

• My Mother- she has always been there for me and listened to me and taught me how to deal with everything in life. She has taught me how to be a strong woman and have belief in myself.
• My Father- a strong man who taught me how to love my country and taught me to take pride in myself.
• My Brother, Sean- he taught me (and still is) teaching me patience. With him having autism, it is very hard and very frustrating. He also taught me to not judge, be afraid or uncomfortable with people who are different.
• My Grandma- she is such a hard worker and is always good for a laugh. She is very strong and has taught me a lot about where my family had come from. I'm so glad she lives with us.
• Amber- my dog, the biggest and most lovable ditz ever. She is hilarious and so insecure. But our family would not be complete without her.
• Christopher- my wonderful and amazing boyfriend, he has taught me so much that it would take a whole book to explain it all. But I will say is that he has brought a lot of laughter in my life, but also helped motivated me to become a better person for me, myself and no one else. That is the greatest gift he has given me.
• All my old friends- thank you. I have learned so much from all of you. Listening to all of you and learning from your lives has helped me appreciate my life more and taught me to look at life from another persons perspective. I hope that I will be able to hang out with you again soon.
• The random people I have met and haven't talked to since- although our encounters were brief, you have made and impact and taught me something as well. The lesson may have been small, it may have been big. The important thing is that you were at the right moment, at the right place, at the right time. Teaching me something new. Thank you
• Jessica- there have been many Jessica's in my life. My best friend from high school, and My big sister from Omega Phi Alpha are just a few. To My BFF from high school, thank you for all the wonderful times we had together, you were very optimistic, kind, passionate and very bubbly. You helped bring out the happy side in me. And to my big sister, you were so understanding, very awesome and you always helped me out, thank you. I know I haven't talked to both of you in a long time, but that changes now.
• Tanya- You are so sweet. I love your personality. I hope when I'm at your age, I'm still full of life, as kind, and as wonderful as you are. You were very helpful and so much fun to be with. Don't worry, you will see me again, you can't get rid of me.
• Meredith- I was so glad to have met you. There aren't many people I love, admire and respect and you are one of them. I know we haven't talked in a long time. But I remember all the times that we have spent together and they have made an impact on me. The next time I'm in town. Let's hang out and get some cake :D
• My cousins- I'm thankful that I have you. Although I don't know all of you as well as I would like, I still remember all the times we got together and it was so much fun. I would still nevertheless want to get to know all of you better and I hope that we could hang out and get to know each other even more.
• The rest of my extended family- the same goes to you as well. I'm thankful for all the cards and gifts you have sent me over the years, even though we don't always talk and see each other. I would love to spend time with all of you and get to know you better.
• Dr. Gray- an amazing Professor who has been so helpful to me this fall semester and so full of life. Her thirst for knowledge and desire to be a better person has inspired me greatly. Thank you
• Professor Rivers- who helped me speak out during class discussions and help me not stay in the background and taught me that yes my opinion matters too.
• Professor Byrd- who was so much fun and made literature very enjoyable. Which even though I am an English major, I have experienced teachers who were able to suck the life out of literature.
• My french Professor, Madame Gammon- thank you for your patience. Learning languages has always been hard for me. I had a speech problem when I was younger. So taking on French has been a challenge for me. But I appreciate the help and the enthusiasm that you exude. Thank you
• All the new friends I have made at Pellissippi- thank you for all the new memories that I have. I hope that I will be able to get to know all of you better.
• All the soldiers that are fighting and have fought- thank you, thank you, thank you. I honestly can't thank you enough for fighting for this country. It is a hard job and you go through more pain, hardship and struggle that most people would see in a lifetime. I'm proud of you, even if I don't know you. Keep up the good work, don't get discouraged, and have faith.
• The founding fathers and mothers of this country- I thank you for fighting for freedom, I thank you for making the sacrifices that you did. We can never truly understand that hardships that you went through. Do not worry, your sacrifice will not have been in vain. I will never forget.
• All those who do not like me- thank you too. You have taught me to ignore what you think of me, to not care about how you feel about me, and how to just live me life as though you were not there. And if I had to work with you, you have taught me how to show respect to others and to be kind and compassionate towards others, even if I did not receive it in return. Thank you.
• St. Joan of Arc- one of my biggest inspiration and someone who I hope to be like. She is a woman of strength, wisdom, and strong faith. She led an army of men and between the ages of 14-16. I thank her for all the times she has listened to me. She is like a friend that I wish to one day meet.
• God- For everything. My family, friends,me, my dog, boyfriend, and all of those in my life. For giving me strength when I needed it, listened to me and for every time he forgave me.
• Myself- Yes this one is very weird, but I am thankful for me too. I am thankful that I have become a better woman over the past 2 years. That I have become more motivated and that I have been working with more determination to reach my goals. That I have taken life by the reigns and took charge of it. I am thankful for what I was, for what I am now, and what I will become.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Enjoy the food, the family and most importantly have fun!