Talking with Friends

So I'm trying to get away from talking about all the dead animals for a moment, for there hasn't been any new development.

This past week I have talked to 3 people on the phone, outside of my boyfriend. For me that is a record. No, it is not because my boyfriend is more important than my friends. The real reason is because I have never really had to call people on the phone to keep in contact with them.

Let me explain....

I have been through a lot. Yes, you have probably heard this from many people whose blogs you have read, but it is true. Before high school I didn't really have any close friends or people that I could trust. And when I did trust those few people, I would try to stay in touch with them, but they would never get back to me.

So as a result I had gotten used to not having friends, calling them, hanging out, etc. I am a little awkward when it comes to that. I will admit it. I hate admitting things, but it is the only way for me to get better.

Now ever since I have left high school and the 1st college I went to I miss my friends a lot. I really do. I have been afraid to call them though. The usual questions run through my mind:

• Do they want to talk to me?
• Do they still like me?
• Will they just ignore me?
• Are they upset at me about not calling me after so long?
• Do they think I'm weird?

And etc. The list goes on. So usually I have not called the people I used to talk to.

I was then inspired by one of my great friends, Leanne who had posted on here facebook that she had a little phobia of talking on the phone too! She doesn't know that I deal with it. She said that it is one of her new years resolutions that she is trying to overcome.

That has inspired me to add that to my new years resolutions as well.

I didn't have to call the 1st 2 people, they called me! They were my awesome friends from high school Jessica and Kathleen. I miss both of them and it was great to hear from them and talk to them. I tried calling one of my friends (this awesome girl has been leaving me messages say call her, so I wasn't too nervous about that) and I called her and her phone was acting up and her husband was home from boot camp for the weekend. I hope to hear from her today.

I then called my other friend Meredith, who I haven't talked to since August. I didn't get a hold of her. But she called me back yesterday which was really great.

There are many more people I want to call , but I'm nervous too. Some of them I have never really talked to them on the phone and yet I have there number. Others I was just friends in high school with them, but since I have left I haven't really talked to them, unless I bump into them.

So I don't know what to do. Should I call them, email them, send them a letter?

I am new to having to keep friendships because this is the first time I have had friends I want to keep in touch with.

If anyone has advice, please leave some comments. Thank you :)

A Book Review: How to be Lovely-The Audrey Hepburn Way of LIfe.

I love Audrey Hepburn; her style, her grace, and she is so classy. I was so excited when I got this for Christmas.

Title: How to be Lovely: The Audrey Hepburn Way of Life

Author: Melissa Hellstern

Number of Pages: 208

Publisher: Dutton Adult

Genre: Biography(esque)

Rating:

This is just a simple great little book. It is not a long read, it is quite enjoyable. It is basically filled with little quotes that have to do with each topics that are discussed in each chapter. You could say it is filled with Audrey's words of Wisdom on life.

No, this is not a long book. It is one of those great coffee table books or you could use it as a a daily thing to look over for fun.

Friendship....Is it Real? A Dream?

"Don't Walk in Front of Me, I May Not Follow. Don't Walk Behind Me, I May Not Lead. Walk Beside Me and Be My Friend."

Friendship: the state of being friends

I don't know about the rest of the world, but I have always had wondered about friendships. Despite the fact that I do have some friends, I have a hard time believing whois my real friend and who is there out of convience. After all there are so many kinds of friends that existed:

• Those friends that you know through other friends


• Friends that you have in a club you are part of, but don't really spend time withoutside of the club


• Friends that you had since childhood
  
• Friends from high school


• Friends from college


• Friends from where you work


• Family friends


• Friendly Aquaintences


• Buisness friends


• On the surface friends


• Those people that you are once friends with, but through time you just lose touch
  

and last but not least

• The friend that's always there


• Me as my own friend
  

It's strange how there are different kind of friendships and friends. In my experience I have always found it hard to be able to differentiate. It has taken me many years to figure out true friends, to be honest I still have some trouble. Frankly, it has been hard for me to figure out whether or not I have friends.

For I have always been paranoid when it comes to opening myself up to other people, I won't go into details, but lets just say I was one of those kids that was severly mistreated and frequently betrayed by those who I thought were my friends. Well I did learn from my mistakes, but unfortunatly I kept running into the types of people who I thought were my friends, but really weren't. Heck I can write a book about the many types of people that you think are your friends, but really aren't.

So you can say that for many years and sometimes to this day, I have a little bit given up on the idea of friendship. You can say I'm not that kind of person that trusts people off the bat anymore. I am getting better though. It took till college for me to really believe this, the idea of friendship. The person that introduced me to this concept was my boyfriend. He really was able to show me that I can have friends and he was able to prove it. He was able to show that some of my sorority sisters are in fact really my friends. He was able to show that I can trust.

It still will be hard, I have been through a great deal. It has left many scars that you can say are still visible. Only through time will be I be able to accpet the idea tha friendship can become a reality, that it is more then a dream.