Getting Motivated

So I haven't really felt that motivated lately. I think a part of it is because of the fact that I simply have just been feeling frustrated. I'm sure there are many people out there that can relate to the facct that when you are around a lot of people that seem to be able to get what they want without working that hard, that it is very frustrating to others like me, who work very hard and we are lucky to get where we are.

It's so hard to be motivated when it seems no matter what you do you just never seem to get there. I feel like I can never seem to get what I desire, even if I go after it. For me I think it has gotten to the point at times where I honestly feel "what's the point"??

It also takes a lot for me to get motivated anymore because I have this mentallity, this way of thinking. I know that the only way for me to be able to feel more motivated is that I have to change how I think. But the other thing is that I have to be able to accomplish something at least once, before I can truly believe that my hard work will pay off. So far to me, I have been shown that the only way to get ahead in life is to

• Have Money
• Have Connections
• Sleep Around
• Be the Same Like Everyone Else
• Be a Bitch or Basterd

And!

• Be Selfish
  

So yeah you can say I am not motivated because of all of this. I am working on it, like a great deal of many other things.

There are 3 goals this summer that I want to accomplish:

1. Get a job at the Oak Ridge Library


2. Register for a Math Class at Pelissippi State


3. Loose Weight

The things I have to do for each of these things really isn't that much.

For the 1st one I have to fill the appilcation form, finish the resume and hand it back in, by tomorrow. They are having turnovers...so I need to turn in the form fast.

I also have to register for a class at Pelissippi, but I have to first get a transcript from UTC, then I have to go in sign up for the class. Then I have to send to information back to UTC so I can get the Veterna's Affairs office there, so that way they can send a letter approving me to take a class there and so that way I can get the finacial aid that I need.

With the last goal, I have to loose weight. My only problem is that I love junk food, I'm not a big fan of working out and I never had to habit of watching what I eat or working out, because I never had to. I was always skinny, and had a high metabolism, I still have a high metabolism compared to others but I'm not where I was a year ago. I think there have been other factors of course, I was badically sick for 4-5 moths this year all together, my appetitie has been extremly up and down, I have been so stresed out with everything, and I felt like everything was out of control. So my goal is to not only loose weight, but get my metabolism back to where it was and perhaps even make it better.

Either way I need to get more motivated and I need to accomplish something, with doing all the hard work that I have done.

My Thoughts On Destiny

Destiny: (1) something to which a person or thing is destined, (2) a predetermined course of events often held to be an irrestible power or agent.
I got to thinking about this today, after all I do wonder at times what is my destiny. Yes, I know that there are many arguments out there that talk about whether or not destiny exists well, I think it does, only I think of destiny in a slightly different way, compared to the Online Webster's definition.

I believe that we are all destined for something great, but we can also be destined for something terrible, it just all depends on the decisions we make. There are many decisions that we each make every day and it's those decisions that determine who we become. Me I have taken life for granted for a very long time, I'm not going to lie, I have had somewhat of an ego and thought that since I was destined for great things ( I won't really exaplin why, there was a life changing experience and yeah its personal) but I honestly though that because of this I didn't have to do much, that my destiny would fall into my lap. Sounds crazy, but for a while I did think this way, subconsciously. For if I thought about this consciously I would thought myself like the other egotistical people out there. Well I am starting to realize that I am similar to some of those people too.

So in my opinion destiny is not one fixed path or one fixed ending point. No it is what you can make it. I have no clue what my destiny is but I know when the time comes I will be ready for it.

For all those that wonder and care in the image above it says of course "Destiny" but it also says underneath "The Choices we Make, Not the Chances we Take, Determine our Destiny." Nothing is by chance, only right, only destiny.